I’m not the most domestic person in the world, and I haven’t taken any etiquette classes. I don’t even really know how to put together place settings at the dinner table (forks go with the knife, or do the spoons…?) From what I can tell, though, I’m not alone: being an impeccable hostess is something that’s kind of gone the way of the dinosaur.

On one hand, this is fine with me. Unnecessary (and sometimes insincere) social niceties are the kinds of things I don’t need cluttering up my life.

On the other hand, I think the thought behind being a good hostess is a good one. When people come into your home, they should feel comfortable, wanted. They should feel as though they are a part of things. The reason for practicing good conversation and good manners is, at its core, about putting people at ease.

And it is also about giving people the sense they are accepted and welcome.

It may sound clichéd, but the most basic fundamental need that all people have is the desire to love and be loved. And layered on top of that fundamental need is the desire for acceptance, despite our biggest drawbacks or, to carry on the hostess analogy, social faux-pas.

For example: I would be a terrible hostess if I turned away a guest who came into my home because he smelled like pickle juice and had foot-long fingernails. Certainly, bad hygiene is a major problem. But turning away this person with the bad hygiene would send the message: “Only people who smell like roses and clip their nails are acceptable.”

Exclusivity doesn’t really indicate classiness. It’s the opposite of class, in fact. It’s a turn-off.

And it’s the opposite of how God deals with humanity. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

We can flip this analogy around from our homes to our church and small groups. In churches, we want guests to come in. In small groups, we want new people to join. But in order to get people in, and to help people grow as a result, we must make a conscious effort to create a place that welcomes and accepts all people where they’re at.

Sure, ultimately it will be a good thing when Mr. Pickle Juice gets his act together. It would be a shame if he stayed the same person forever. But the first step in growth, maturity, and change, is the affirmation that we accept others regardless of where they’re at because that is what God does.