What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.  James 4:1-3

Wrong motives.  Bad motives.  Selfish motives. These will hinder our prayers.

Let’s say I ask God to bless me financially. God may very well examine my motive for this prayer. Do I want more money so I can buy everything I’ve always wanted? That’s a bad motivation. Or do I want more money so I can be more generous? That’s a good motivation.

Why we ask God for something is as important as what we ask God for.

So when we’re feeling like our prayers are not getting answered with a yes, it’s good to question: Why am I asking God for this?  What are my motives? 

God is a good parent.  And like all good parents he doesn’t always give us what we ask for immediately. Sometimes he says wait. Sometimes he says no. That’s not because God doesn’t love us. It’s because he does.

Looking back, I’m glad God said no to some of my prayers. Why?  Often I was asking for the wrong things.  And often I was asking for the wrong reasons.  And if God had answered yes to those prayers, I’d be a worse human being today. 

So these days I spend more time asking God to extend his reign on earth.  I already know that he wants to do that, and so I know he’ll answer in the affirmative.

And these days I spend more time asking the Father to bring Jesus glory.  I already know that’s what he wants, so I know he’ll answer in the affirmative.

And remember: motives matter.  Why we ask God for something is as important as what we ask God for.  Poorly motivated prayers are not effective prayers. And that’s actually a very good thing.  We have a God who will disappoint his children’s selfish requests for their long term good; therefore, we have a good Heavenly Father.  

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”  Mark 11:22-25

In this passage Jesus agrees with James.  Pray.  Prayer works.  And pray with faith not doubt.  Doubtful prayers are not effective prayers.

But Jesus adds something else.  Forgive one another.  A lack of forgiveness hinders our prayers just like doubt.

It is a dangerous thing to withhold forgiveness.  It hinders our prayers in general.  And it specifically hinders our ability to ask for and receive forgiveness from God. 

When I’m feeling like my prayers are going nowhere, when I feel like my prayers are getting no response, and when I feel like my prayers are useless, the first thing I do is consider whether I’m withholding forgiveness.  And if I am, I forgive right then and there.  I suggest you do the same. 

A lack of forgiveness is a huge hindrance to effective prayer.  So forgive.  And then pray.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.  James 1:5-7

James agrees with Jesus.  Ask and it will be given.  God gives generously to all without finding fault.  Prayer works.

But James adds a qualifier.  We must believe and not doubt.  Doubt hinders the effectiveness of our prayers.

But what does that mean?  What does it mean to say we should pray and not doubt?  That is the subject of this post.

Here’s what I think James means.  We should pray believing God can answer our prayers for help. And we should pray believing God wants to answer our prayers. We are to pray believing God is willing and able to help and therefore that help will come.

But as James warns us, if we pray doubting God is willing or able to help we should not expect help will come.  This is a sobering warning.  But it makes sense.  Insulting someone’s character and abilities and then asking that person for help doesn’t go over well with people. It doesn’t go over well with God either. But James does not say help will not come. He just says you can’t expect it. Our doubt negates the promise. But God can and has answered doubtful prayers. He is gracious. But if we want to claim the promise, we have to demonstrate the faith.

But before concluding this post I want to clarify what I mean. We are to pray believing God is willing and able to help and help will come.  What does that mean? 

It means remembering God is God. He’s smarter than us. The timing of his help is his business. Sometimes there’s a delay. If so, that’s because God has deemed it best for us not to answer immediately.

When we remember God is God, we remind ourselves that He’s wiser than us. The manner of his help is his business.  Sometimes the help comes in a manner we did not conceive of.  If so, that’s because God has deemed it best for us to send help in his own way.

So here’s how I pray. When I ask God for something, I always start by acknowledging his power and his goodness.  I start by confessing that I believe God is willing and able to answer my prayer for help.  And I continue in prayer by asking God to help in a specific manner at a specific time (usually right now!).  But I allow God to be God.  If God chooses to send help in a different way—that’s OK with me.  If God chooses to delay the help for some reason—that’s OK with me.  But I always believe help will come. 

So let’s pray. Prayer works. When we ask for help we are to believe help will come. The manner and the timing of the help is God’s business. But help will come. That’s how we pray in faith. 

Sunday we learned that God says:  Ask me.  Pray. Prayer works. God loves to give.  And that is absolutely true.

But if we’re honest, let’s admit sometimes prayer doesn’t work.  That’s true too. This shouldn’t discourage us from prayer because God tells us why sometimes our prayers don’t get answered.

This week I’ll post on three ways our prayers can be hindered. And they’re not my reasons. It’s not what I say; it’s what God says in his word.

But let’s remember: prayer works.  This is the first and last word on prayer. I think we need to accept this teaching from Jesus in faith. This is not the only word on prayer.  But it is the most important. Prayer works. God says it. And we can testify to this truth from our lives.