Confront or Overlook?

On Sunday we talked about how Love covers sin.  God’s love covers our sin.  Our love covers their sin.  We pass on the love and forgiveness we have received from God to others.
But when should we confront sin in others and when should we overlook sin in others?  Fortunately, I don’t think it’s too complicated. 
Is there a pattern of sin?  Or is it an isolated incident?  Is it a major sin we’re talking about?  Or is it a minor sin we’re talking about?  If no one intervened would the person be OK?  Or if no one intervened would disaster strike suddenly?  What is bothering you?  Is it that they hurt you a little or that they are hurting themselves a lot?
If we’re talking about an isolated incident, a minor infraction, requiring no serious intervention, a small hurt to you, then let it go.  Overlook.  Release.  Forgive.  You don’t have to confront someone to forgive them.  You don’t have to tell someone you’re forgiving them to forgive them.  You can simply forgive.  It’s to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

On the other hand if we’re talking about a pattern of sin, a major infraction, requiring serious intervention, a large hurt to themselves, then we must confront.  The person is headed for disaster.  And if you care for that person you’d confront for their sake.

But that’s my mind at work.  I also have a heart.  And that’s where things break down for me and probably for you too. 

Sadly, I care mostly for myself.  And so I’ll overlook someone who needs confrontation so long as they aren’t hurting me.  I’ll passively watch someone’s life go down the drains and so long as it doesn’t affect me I’ll say nothing.  But I’ll confront someone for something that should be overlooked because they hurt me.  It doesn’t matter how small the hurt.  They hurt me and must be confronted! 

I don’t like this about myself.  But it’s true.  I care mostly for myself.

Knowing this here’s what I do.  I take the George Constanza approach.  I try and do the opposite of what I’m inclined to do.  If my inclination is to overlook, I seriously consider confronting.  If my inclination is to confront, I seriously consider overlooking.

 I hope that someday I’ll grow into a more loving person who can trust his loving instincts.  But I’m not there yet.  If you are great!  If not, try the George Costanza approach with me.  And do the opposite of your inclination:  confront when you want to overlook, overlook when you want to confront.