Back when we still had cable, Jeff and I would sometimes watch this show called Clean House. It was pretty awesome, and it was also pretty disturbing. Basically, there were people on this show who had so much stuff in their homes that they couldn’t function anymore. Some homes were so piled with junk (sewing machines, clothes, furniture, kitchenware, etc) that there were only thin paths through the house that its inhabitants could use to get from one room to another. It was pandemonium. It was chaos. Unlivable.

And whenever Jeff and I would watch this show, we’d say things like: “How can these people live like that?! Where do they sleep at night? And most importantly, where the heck do they sit to watch television?”

And then, the expert organizers/designers on the show would have to pull arms, legs, teeth, the whole nine yards, just to get these people to agree to get rid of this stuff and sell it at a yard sale. Sometimes, it would take bribing (“If you agree to sell this collection of half-broken model airplanes, we’ll put in a new carpet in your living room!”)

Sometimes the person would say: “No. I just cannot get rid of those broken model airplanes. Or the oversized stuffed dog. Or the half-broken curio cabinet filled with great aunt so-and-so’s thimble collection.”

And by making this decision, this person would miss out on a new living room set, a new stove, new carpeting, and the obtrusive item he or she did not wish to give up stood out like a sore thumb, a reminder of the past clutter.

I would then wag a finger at the TV and say things like: “You should’ve gotten rid of your broken 30 year old scuba gear!”

Now, it’s hard to say there is something morally wrong with these people. I wouldn’t say that their messy houses are a source of sin, necessarily. But I do think this is an obstacle. And I think that it ultimately diminishes these people’s lives.

This show makes it clear how hard it is to let things go, especially when they become a part of your daily life. I thought of this during Brad’s sermon on Sunday. I often settle for a cluttered and messy life. It’s not awful, but it’s not great; it is a diminished version of what it would be, mainly because I have grown accustomed to it, and I don’t want let these things go.

The reason why God wants us to follow him and do his will and sin no more is because he wants the best life for us. So when God sees us wasting our time, or sees us consumed and burdened by things that diminish rather than add to our lives, I’m sure he wants something more and better for us. He wants good things for his children, and we often settle for mediocrity. He created us for his great purposes, and we instead settle for youtube clips, TV marathons, and hours on facebook.

It’s time I cleaned house a little. Settling isn’t worth it. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Brad’s message Sunday about weeding things out of our lives that choke our fruitfulness.  But more than enjoying the message I’m going to try to apply it.

As a recovering TV addict, I got rid of cable TV years ago.  The problem is that I can now get TV on my laptop.  So for the month of December, I’m going to leave my laptop at the office.  I’m not bringing it home on the weekdays.

This will cut out weekday TV watching.  This will eliminate weekday web surfing.  This will eliminate two time wasters.  I’ll be interested to see what happens.

This Advent I’m going on a laptop fast.  How about you?  What weeds are you going to pull this Advent?

We are moving from our Staff St. Paul's Profile (which works well for people) to a Page (which works out better for organizations and groups).

The Facebook Page is a great way to get out information, make announcements, and send out reminders to you all, which makes it serve a very similar to the blog. What's different, though, is that Facebook makes it easier and more convenient for you all to post questions or thoughts and announcements of your own on its wall when you need to, and to connect with one another.

It is important that you switch from the Staff Profile, and like our Official Church Page, because we will eventually delete the old profile and completely switch over to the new one. 

Please "like" our new page, and suggest it to your FB buddies!

St Paul's Facebook Page. 

God bless you all!  I love Thanksgiving! If there is anyone out there who has no one to share this day of thankfulness and joy, this is your invitation to join the Riddells. We would love to have you. Our home is open all day, 117 Eastview Drive, Coventry, (860)742-0254.  Shalom and Agape!

Just a reminder: We're having our Harvest Party on Saturday (November 19th) in the church cafe at 6:00!

We will be serving a comfort-food style dinner and desserts, and there will also be plenty of games and good company. 

Share the love and invite a friend.

We hope you can make it!

P.s. Although both games and snacks will be provided after dinner, feel free to bring a favorite board game, or a snack to share (e.g. Aunt Jenny's Super Secrete Cupcake recipe).

For the past several months the Communications Team has been working on a new logo for our church. Here it is.

Let me share with you the process we went through to arrive at this new logo.

Our members picked the name. We officially changed our name from St. Paul’s Collegiate Church to St. Paul’s Church at our September Membership Meeting. It’s more of a tweak than a change. But our members wanted to both affirm our history (St. Paul’s) and signal a break from the past (dropping Collegiate - which confused people). Our members picked our new name.

Ruth and Vince from the Communications Team picked the color: Green. Why green? It’s not red (old colors). It’s not blue (UConn’s colors). Our new color signifies a break with the past and an identity broader than just UConn. Also, green is an organic color signifying growth and happens to be Ruth and Vince’s favorite color.

Kate from the Communications Team picked the acorn. Why the acorn? The acorn is an oak nut. From the tiny acorn emerges the majestic oak. It takes a long time for an oak to mature but everything the oak needs to mature is contained in the tiny acorn. And once Kate presented this concept, we all thought this was an excellent metaphor for our church.

Ken from the Communications Team suggested a cross. Why the cross? It’s the symbol of our Christian faith. The cross marks the acorn, just as the cross marks us.

And finally, Ishmael and Emma from the Communications Team worked with the font, the layout, the size and the appearance of the logo.

Our new logo took several months to complete. But it’s finally here. And we’re quite proud of it. And I’m quite proud of our team. This logo came about through our Communications Team collaborating together - each member making unique contributions.

There are a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness. These misconceptions make people hesitant to forgive. That’s a big problem. In this blog post, we’ll clear up the misconception that forgiveness entails reconciliation. Forgive and resume the relationship: That’s not necessarily true.

Forgiveness is a command. It takes only one person to forgive. You. Reconciliation is a goal. It takes two people to reconcile. You and the other person.

You can forgive someone who doesn’t ask for forgiveness. You can’t be reconciled to someone who doesn’t seek reconciliation.

Take the unfortunate example of the battered wife. Her husband hits her. Apologizes. Hits her again. Apologizes again. Hits her again. And on and on the cycle goes.

What is the wife obligated to do? She is obligated to forgive her husband. She is not obligated to continue the relationship. She is not obligated to subject herself to continued violence. She is not obligated to seek reconciliation apart from the genuine repentance of her husband.

What constitutes genuine repentance? The fruit of genuine repentance is a change of behavior discernable over a period of time. In this example I would council the wife to separate. I would council her to remove herself from the abusive relationship. I would suggest they seek counseling together. I would suggest she attempt reconciliation if her husband repents. I would suggest she wait to move back in until he proves himself over time. How long?  As long as it takes to regain trust in the relationship.

If the abusing husband does not repent, if he is unwilling to earn trust slowly over time, if he tries to let an “I’m sorry” restore the relationship, then it’s not the wife who fails to seek reconciliation; it’s the husband.  He’s the barrier to reconciliation, not her. 

Forgiveness is given. Trust is earned. When trust in a relationship is violated it takes time to rebuild. And in some cases it may never be rebuilt.

This is an extreme example, but it displays an important principle. Forgiveness is a command. It takes one. You. Reconciliation is a goal. It takes two. You and the other person.

This is a very important distinction. Some people withhold forgiveness because they think it means they must resume the relationship with the offender. But that’s not what forgiveness means. Forgiveness simply means letting go of the hurt they caused. Forgiveness does not mean allowing yourself to suffer abuse from another.

So forgive. Forgiveness is not an invitation to suffer abuse from another. Forgiveness is the release to stop the abuse. Their past offenses no longer need keep you down. Their future offenses don’t need to be suffered. Forgive. Reconciliation may not be possible. Forgiveness always is.

St. Paul's Church has adopted two local (Manchester) families for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The commitment is to provide a Thanksgiving and Christmas meal; for Christmas, there will be additional gifts ($25 max per person) for each family member.  Individuals and/or Small Groups that would like to participate in this outreach should contact Tom Andrix at tandrix@gweiss.com.

Additionally, we need a Small Group of 5 individuals to serve at the MACC Soup Kitchen on Thursday, November 17th (from 7:00PM - 9:00PM).  Interested individuals or Small Groups can see Bob Jeram at worship on Sunday.

There are a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness.  These misconceptions make people hesitant to forgive. That’s a big problem. In this blog we’ll clear up the misconception that forgiving means forgetting. “Forgive and forget.” You’ve heard that one before. But it’s just not true.

Here’s why people think forgiveness of the past entails forgetting the past.

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers them no more.”  Isaiah 43:25

So there’s good reason to think forgiving entails forgetting. That’s what God’s word says. That’s what God Himself does. And we are to forgive just like God. We are to forgive and forget just like God. Case closed.

There’s only one problem. The prophet Isaiah keeps speaking. Listen to what he says in the verses immediately following.

“Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.  Your first father sinned; your spokesmen rebelled against me. So I will disgrace the dignitaries of your temple, and I will consign Jacob to destruction and Israel to scorn.”  Isaiah 43:26-28

Apparently God is remembering the sins he just said he forgot. So either God is blatantly contradicting himself through the prophet Isaiah within a few verses, or we may be mistaken about what “remember them no more” means.

I’m adopting the latter.  God remembers. Throughout the Old Testament prophets, God reminds his people over and over again of their history: their history of disobedience and God’s history of faithfulness. God remembers.

God does not have amnesia. He does not have blank spots in his knowledge. God knows everything.  Past. Present. Future. If God truly forgot things, even on purpose, God would cease to be omniscient. But God remembers.

However, God does not accuse. God does not hold their past against them. He keeps no record of wrongs to throw in their faces. God forgives. God reminds. God pleads: “My people, return to me.”

Likewise, we are not to have amnesia. We are not to have blank spots about our past. God might be able to do that. But he doesn’t. And we can’t. It’s psychologically impossible.

For example: My Dad divorced my mom years ago. Later, he re-married. I forgave my Dad, but I haven’t forgotten. When I go visit him, I’m not surprised by the fact he’s not with my mom. When I go visit him, I’m not surprised he’s with his second wife. When I go visit him, I don’t ask his second wife, “Who might you be?”  I know. I remember.

Forgive and Forget?  That’s not what God does. That’s not what we are to. Forgiveness does not entail wiping our memories. Forgiveness means our memories don’t hurt us anymore. We have released the hurt. We have forgiven.

You don’t need to lose your memory to forgive. You don’t need to wipe your history to forgive. You don’t need to forget to forgive. So forgive.